Fred Koschara - My official personal Web page

The Internet Home of

Fred Koschara

Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law. Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving. Subject to CAB approval. Decision of judges is final. This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers. Your mileage may vary. Postage will be paid by addressee. Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen. Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects. You must be present to win. Not to be removed under penalty of law. Drop in any mailbox. Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Protected by Smith and Wesson. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Do not insert backwards. May cause allergic skin reaction. Batteries not included. Add toner. May cause drowsiness. Replace with same type. Sales tax not included. List was current at time of printing. Do not write below this line. Use at your own risk. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Not recommended for children. Important Notice to Purchasers. Not available in all states. Apply only to affected area. For off-road use only. Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe. Thanks to the US Naval Observatory. Never forget 4/20. No user-serviceable parts inside. Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply. Attention. Advisory. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Shading within a garment may occur. This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them. Kilroy was here. Use other side for additional listings. Harmful if swallowed. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Video cameras in use. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands. Read all instructions before starting assembly. Colors may, in time, fade. Management assumes no liability for unattended items. Penalty for private use. For external use only. Times are approximate. Use with adequate ventilation. Slippery when wet. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Do not use hair dryer while sleeping. Keep away from fire or flame. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Prices subject to change without notice. The above limitations may not apply to you. Place stamp here. Remember to not forget. For recreational use only. One size fits all. Simulated picture. For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply. Subject to change without notice. Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation. Approved for veterans. Remove baby before folding stroller. Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website. Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe. Not to be used for the other use. Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed. Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption. Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition. Consumer Notice. Call toll free before digging. Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Availability is limited. May be too intense for some viewers. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Some equipment shown is optional. New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected. Call toll free number before digging. Not responsible for user stupidity. Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences. This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Hearing protection may be required. Shower cap fits one head. Please Note. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. See label for sequence. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. At participating locations only. Proof of purchase required. May cause excitability. Store it in a cool, dry place. Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights. Handle With Extreme Care. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Not responsible for acts of God. No Canadian coins. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Safe for children and pets. Keep away from small children. Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space. Do not disturb. Post office will not deliver without postage. A 24-hour advance reservation is required. Employees and their families are not eligible. Store in original containers. No solicitors. As seen on TV. Edited for television. Not the Beatles. Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems. Warning. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. This is not an offer to sell securities. Restaurant package, not for resale. Details inside. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician. No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced. Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association. Keep this and all software out of the reach of children. Do not iron clothes on body. For indoor or outdoor use only. Do not stamp. Not recommended for people over the age of 143. Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League. Do not use hair dryer in the shower. Booths for two or more. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight. Must be over 17. No passes accepted for this engagement. All models over 18 years of age. Cat napping. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. For use only in the intended use. This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result. Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference. If condition persists, consult your physician. Consult your physician before using this program. Not responsible for typographical errors. This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it. Caution. Always wear safety goggles. Some restrictions apply. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not remove label under penalty of law. Do not dispose of in fire. Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly. According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years. Nytol may cause drowsiness. Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball. Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court. Some assembly required. Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher. This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text. Void where prohibited. Driver does not carry cash. This product warps space and time in its vicinity. Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user. You could be a winner! Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Read label before using. At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus. No COD's. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery. Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Close cover before striking. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. No purchase necessary. Price does not include taxes. Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply. For office use only. Keep cool; process promptly. Special usage rates are also available at select locations. No other warranty expressed or implied. Public Notice as required by law. Subject to availability. This notice supersedes all previous notices. Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Read the entire test before answering any questions. Falling rock. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Prerecorded for this time zone. Misuse may cause personal injury or death. Subject to local regulation. The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed. Many suitcases look alike. Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate. Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund. No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site. Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Rates higher for users under age 25. Some information may be stored in systems not in your country. Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state. Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion. Contents may settle during shipment. List each check separately by bank number. Product will be hot after heating. Package sold by weight, not volume. Warranty period limited. This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour. There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result. Read this before opening package. Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties. Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware. Check here if tax deductible. Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds. Not safe for children and pets. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Full license agreement is included within. Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin. First pull up, then pull down. Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine. Parental guidance suggested. Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by. Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form. Use only as directed. What goes up, must come down. List at least two alternate dates. Avoid contact with skin. Shipping and handling extra.

Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict
Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict
Site Features