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This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour.
If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Apply only to affected area.
Store in original containers.
Always wear safety goggles.
Some equipment shown is optional.
The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
Unpredictable results will occur if allowed to pass beyond the event horizon.
No COD's.
May cause allergic skin reaction.
Subject to availability.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of the National Foosball League.
Decision of judges is final.
Edited for television.
Original proof of purchase must be returned when applying for a refund.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended.
Consult your physician before using this program.
Read this before opening package.
This notice supersedes all previous notices.
The entire physical universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be guaranteed.
For off-road use only.
Use only pencil or blue or black ball point pen.
May cause drowsiness.
Rates higher for users under age 25.
Do not dispose of in fire.
Not suitable for use at relativistic speeds.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
Cat napping.
The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
Unless the word inspletularity has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
This conversation may be recorded for training or quality purposes, or just because we feel like we can get away with it.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Slippery when wet.
Details inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
One size fits all.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Thanks to the US Naval Observatory.
Hearing protection may be required.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
This is a 100% matter product: In the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.
Useful results can only be obtained in an inertial frame of reference.
There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process know as "tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor's domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
Add toner.
Not to be used in nuclear reactor control systems.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Thanks to the San Antonio Astronomical Association.
This abridged version does not contain all of the information present in the full text.
Public Notice as required by law.
For external use only.
Not recommended for people over the age of 143.
This Web site is intended for the use of the individual members and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs.
Subject to CAB approval.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Warning.
Repeating unconfirmed rumors may have adverse consequences.
Remember to not forget.
Some assembly required.
Place stamp here.
Not the Beatles.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Keep away from small children.
Price does not include taxes.
Subject to change without notice.
According to certain suggested versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years.
Keep cool; process promptly.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Thanks to the Tech Model Railroad Club.
Remove baby before folding stroller.
Product will be hot after heating.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Optional CDW at $23.00 a day or less (shown for guidance only due to fluctuating exchange rates; accurate as of 03/02/01) is available in Europe.
Not for use with aluminum utensils or cookware.
Sales tax not included.
Do not stamp.
Harmful if swallowed.
Not to be copied without the expression permission of Major League Foosball.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this software.
Use inconsistent with package labeling may be a violation of Federal law.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Weekly rates require a 5-day minimum rental or daily rates apply.
Safe for children and pets.
For recreational use only.
Use at your own risk.
Never forget 4/20.
Batteries not included.
Read all instructions before starting assembly.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
Do not use hair dryer while sleeping.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Booths for two or more.
Video cameras in use.
No solicitors.
Call toll free before digging.
Handle With Extreme Care.
Taxes, airport service charges in Europe, fuel, additional mailbox fee, drop charges and other optional items are extra.
You could be a winner!
Bonded items should not be placed in oven, microwave or dishwasher.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Proof of purchase required.
Replace with same type.
Contains substances known by the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects.
May be too intense for some viewers.
A 24-hour advance reservation is required.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The manufacturer may technically be entitled to claim that this product is ten dimensional. However, the consumer is reminded that this confers no legal rights above and beyond those applicable to three-dimensional objects, since the seven new dimensions are "rolled up" into such a small "area" that they cannot be detected.
Check here if tax deductible.
Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate.
Not available in all states.
Approved for veterans.
Special usage rates are also available at select locations.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Do not carry loose batteries in pockets, purses or bags.
List at least two alternate dates.
Failure to respond in a timely manner may result in imposition of additional penalties.
Do not write below this line.
Do not disturb.
Management assumes no liability for unattended items.
Use with adequate ventilation.
Kilroy was here.
Disabling security features will increase the chance of data theft or corruption.
As seen on TV.
Important Notice to Purchasers.
Read the entire test before answering any questions.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Read label before using.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
Caution.
Some restrictions apply.
Do not drive car or operate machinery immediately after using Boots Children's Cough Medicine.
Subject to local regulation.
Not available in stores, call now, operators are standing by.
For weekend rate, page must be accessed after noon Thursday and returned by noon Monday or higher daily rates apply.
Health Warning: Care should be taken when lifting this product, since its mass, and thus its weight, is dependent on its velocity relative to the user.
Not recommended for children.
Store it in a cool, dry place.
List each check separately by bank number.
Proof of airline or Amtrak arrival is required at ISP counter or higher rates apply.
Insure all protective guards are in place before operating machinery.
May cause excitability.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Violators will be towed at owner's expense. See owner for reimbursement form.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant or are nursing are advised to consult their husband and physician before reading this website.
Not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.
Advisory.
Times are approximate.
Your mileage may vary.
Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of at least 99.9999999999% empty space.
Use other side for additional listings.
Helium balloons may explode when elevated to extreme heights.
This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.
Avoid contact with skin.
Beware of dog.
Must be over 17.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or any other mammal, those who have a penchant for time wasting, illiterates and lawyers.
Optional CDW at $14.99 a day or less is available in the U.S.
Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe; although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
Many suitcases look alike.
Warranty period limited.
For use only in the intended use.
Attention.
Shipping and handling extra.
See label for sequence.
Protected by Smith and Wesson.
Do not use hair dryer in the shower.
Driver carries less than $20 worth of ammunition.
Falling rock.
Component Equivalency Notice: The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the products of other manufacturers, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.
No animals were harmed during the creation of this Web site.
All models over 18 years of age.
No Canadian coins.
At some off-airport locations, an airport-imposed tax or fee, ranging up to 10% will apply if you choose to exit on our shuttle bus.
You must be present to win.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Availability is limited.
The above limitations may not apply to you.
Call toll free number before digging.
Drop in any mailbox.
Some information may be stored in systems not in your country.
List was current at time of printing.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
Not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes.
Not safe for children and pets.
Consumer Notice.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
First pull up, then pull down.
Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Eating before reading may result in unhealthy indigestion.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
Use only as directed.
What goes up, must come down.
For office use only.
Please Note.
Do not remove label under penalty of law.
No purchase necessary.
Void where prohibited.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse: Omniscience is mandatory in all cases before the court.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
Sanitized for your protection.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Do not insert backwards.
Not responsible for user stupidity.
Full license agreement is included within.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
Parental guidance suggested.
Penalty for private use.
Not responsible for acts of God.
Do not attempt to stop chainsaw chain with your hands.
At participating locations only.
Not to be used for the other use.
Close cover before striking.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Driver does not carry cash.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your physician.
Keep marks inside boxes. Be sure you have marked correctly.
Nytol may cause drowsiness.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Shower cap fits one head.
Not responsible for typographical errors.
Misuse may cause personal injury or death.
Screens must remain in place to ensure bug free operation.
Keep this and all software out of the reach of children.
Do not iron clothes on body.
Not to be removed under penalty of law.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving.
Simulated picture.
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